For Life Page 7
“Oh Rachel.” I pull her back into me and she whimpers as I grab her, firmly on the arse. “This here, is mine, and I don’t want anyone else seeing it, or you teasing me with it. Understood?” I stand and turn her towards me.
“Yes Sir.” She says with eyes that are telling me she is going to go ahead and tease me all night anyway because she knows exactly what will happen when we get home.
“Fuck me up the arse with a rusty spoon!” Scott shouts at us as we walk into the packed club. “How the fuck did you get him in fancy dress?!” He asks Rachel, and I notice the double take he does when he looks at her.
“I have my ways.” She smiles from next to me.
“Yes, I can see.” He laughs, while blatantly staring at Rachel’s chest and I have to shake off the urge to shove him away.
“Hands off you.” I almost growl and then try to force a smile. “Isn’t one of your many girlfriends here tonight?”
“Uh, two actually. Yeah, that’s a story and a half, and let’s just hope this place is big enough that neither one of them bump into the other and get talking about the sex God in their life eh?” I just shake my head and exhale loudly. “Anyway, you two get a drink, I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”
“Okay, please try to stay out of trouble!” I say. He just winks at me as he makes his way over to a group of women.
“Two girlfriends?” Rachel asks when we get to the bar.
“It’s probably more than that. He’s a nightmare.” I roll my eyes while she laughs.
“I bet you used to be just as bad!” She laughs.
“I’m offended! I told you, I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”
“Okay, what did you call them then?!”
What, the women I paid to have sex with?
Luckily at that moment a man dressed as Kermit the frog comes and asks what we want to drink.
“I’ll have Macallan neat please, Rach, wine?”
“Yes please, large chardonnay.”
Before Rachel has a chance to continue our conversation, I grab her in my arms and kiss her softly. I open my lips over hers and her tongue gently tickles at mine. I can feel the skin erupt in goosebumps on the top of her leg as my fingers gently stroke the naked skin between her skirt and stocking.
Rachel
Ican’t remember the last time I danced this much. Tad and I have been on the dancefloor most of the night and it feels amazing. All the drama of the last year feels a million miles away and remembering how stressed I felt this morning about the divorce suddenly seems trivial.
“I think I need to sit down, my feet are killing me!” I shout at Tad over the loud music.
“Thank God, me too! I’ll get us a drink, you go sit down.” He wanders off towards the bar, gently pushing through the mass of people dancing. I move over towards the booths at the side of the dance floor, to find Scott sat with a gorgeous looking blonde woman. They seem extremely friendly, and I’m wondering which girlfriend this is.
He sees me walking over and comes up for air.
“Rach, meet Louise. Louise, this is Rachel, Tad’s fiancée.”
“Nice to meet you.” I shout as I lean over the table to shake her hand.
“Where’s Tad?”
“Just getting drinks.” I sit down opposite them at the table. “This party is amazing Scott.”
“Thanks, it’s nice to be trusted with planning something so big for once!”
I look over and can see Tad at the bar, he is talking to a woman with bright red hair. She is laughing and keeps touching his arm. I can see that he is trying to pull away from her, but it still does nothing to ease the jealous rage that I can feel brewing.
“Scott, who is that, talking to Tad?”
“Uh, I’m not sure.” For someone who has more than one girlfriend at a time, he is crap at lying.
Tad walks back over, hands me a glass of wine and sits next to me.
“Who was that?” I ask as casually as I can manage before taking a sip of my wine.
“Oh, uh- just someone I used to know a while back.” He flashes a smile at me and I drop the subject, for now.
He takes his phone out and looks confused for a second, I lean forward and attempt to ask what’s wrong, but before I can even say a word, he lifts his finger in my direction, silently shushing me. He is reading something intently on the screen, and suddenly his eyes are wide and his smile enormous.
“Okay, seriously, what?!” I say, pushing his long finger out of the way of my face.
“He signed it.” He says, so quietly I barely hear him. He is still scanning his eyes over the message.
“Who signed what?” I ask.
“He signed it!” He says again, louder this time and he finally turns to face me. Noticing my confused look he shouts. “Rach, he signed it!”
It takes a long time for the words to register.
He cannot mean Kevin?
“You don’t mean-” I start, before he cuts me off.
“That fucking scumbag actually signed the papers. Rach you’re getting your divorce!”
He lunges at me, almost knocking the wine from my hands and hugs me tightly, and I should be as happy as he is. I should be over the moon. If he has signed the papers that also means he has given up all parental responsibility over Ami. Not only can Tad and I get married, but he can also adopt Ami, and we can all be a family.
But something doesn’t feel right, at all. I can’t help but think Kevin is playing a game, that this is all just some grand scheme. There’s no way would he give in so easily…
Scott is congratulating Tad and I over the table and I think I hear something about champagne, but I can’t concentrate. My brain is racing and a wave of nausea suddenly flows through me. I quickly excuse myself and run to the bathroom.
I push past the women in the queue, and head straight towards the sinks, where I hurriedly splash cold water on my neck.
Why am I reacting like this? Why am I not excited, and relieved? Why do I suddenly feel more stressed than I did before?
“Is everything okay?” I feel a hand on my shoulder as a soft voice startles me from my own thoughts.
“Yes. I’m fine.” I look up and I see the reflection next to me of the red headed woman from the bar Tad was talking to.
“Oh, you must be Rachel!” Her eyes widen slightly as she seems to recognise me.
“Yes, I am, and you are?” I turn to face her and try to get a read on her expression.
“My name is Lizzie. Lovely to meet you.” Her smile seems genuine enough, but something about the way she is looking at me has me on edge.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but do I know you?”
“Oh, sorry, no you don’t. I’m an old friend of Tad’s. I just bumped into him a few minutes ago and he said he was here with his fiancée.” Something about the way she said friend made my stomach flip, and she is now eyeing my engagement ring, which I’m suddenly feeling very conscious of.
“A friend?” I say before I can stop myself.
“Well, we all have a past.” She laughs and I feel my jaw tensing. “I haven’t seen him in a few years though.” She leans in as though she is about to share some deep secret with me. “How ever did you manage it?” She grins.
“Manage what?” I ask through gritted teeth. I’m well aware everyone, Tad included, has a past, but I didn’t need his past cornering me in the ladies when I’m already having somewhat of a breakdown.
“Getting Thaddeus Turner, eternal bachelor, to settle down? We never thought we would see the day?” She leans back and turns to the mirror before applying a fresh coat of deep burgundy lipstick.
“We?” I don’t want to know, why am I even asking?
“Just me and the girls.” She catches sight of my reflection in the mirror and turns back to look at me. “Sorry, I haven’t upset you have I?”
“No. No, I just have to go. It was, just great meeting you.” I turn and push my way past a group of women and half run out of there.
It was before you. He is entitled to have been with other women. Stop being such an idiot.
The door leading to the bathrooms opens behind me and I see it in Tad’s eyes before anything else. His eyes go wide as he sees who has followed me out, and he suddenly looks at me nervously. His eyes flit between me and Lizzie, and before he manages to speak I push past him and head for the exit.
Tad
Iwatch as Rachel pushes past me and heads for the club’s exit, and turn suddenly back to Lizzie.
“What did you say to her?” I shout louder than is necessary to be heard over the music.
“Nothing!” She says innocently. “Just that we were friends, that’s all, I swear!”
“Why did you feel the need to say anything at all to her?” I turn around to look for Rach, but can’t see her anywhere.
“I didn’t know who she was at first. She was bent over the sink looking like she was about to have a panic attack or something, so I just asked if she was okay. It was only then I realised who she was.”
“I’ve got to go.” I say and turn quickly. I need to find out what’s going on. Why was she in there having a panic attack after I’ve just told her about the divorce? I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“Call me, you know, if you ever get bored.” Lizzie smiles at me, and it almost turns my stomach. There are a million things I’d like to say right now, but I have to find Rachel, so I shrug Lizzies hand off me and race to the exit.
I find Rachel outside, leaning against a wall, arms wrapped around herself to try to stay warm. She is taking a long drag from a cigarette.
As she exhales, she sees me, and starts trying to waft away the smoke with her hand.
“Sorry, I just needed some air.” She says quietly.
“Nice air.” I tease looking at the cigarette.
“Oh, sorry.” She goes to stub it out on the wall.
“No, don’t be silly.” I grab it from her hand and take a long drag myself. I breathe in the smoke and smile at the familiar burn.
“Since when do you smoke?” She asks shocked.
“Well, I haven’t for years.” I half laugh as I hand it back to her. “Look, Rach, I’m sorry-”
“No, you don’t need to apologise. I’m just being stupid.”
“Never.” I face her and hold her cheek in my hand. “What did she say to you?”
“Nothing. She was just chatting. It’s just, I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I know it’s irrational, and of course you’ve been with other women, but…”
“It was a long time ago.” I stroke her bottom lip with my thumb and smile at her.
“I know, and you don’t have to justify it. I mean look at you? There’s no way you’ve stayed single your entire life. This is bound to happen on occasion.” She smiles at me and I want to reassure her that I was single until I met her. I want to tell her that I never even so much as entertained the idea of having a girlfriend, until I met her and she flipped my whole world upside down. But I don’t want to tell her the nature of any of my past flings. So I just pull her close to me and kiss her head softly.
Chapter Eight
Rachel
The chair underneath me is cold and hard, and I can’t stop fidgeting with the visitor pass hanging from my neck. I’m trying to calm myself down, but all I keep thinking to myself, well more like screaming at myself is why the fuck am I here?
I scan the room quickly, there are about ten other people waiting at tables around me, and I’m clearly not the only one who is nervous.
I can hear noise in the distance, hushed talking, and then the distinct clicking of a lock, and the loud squeak of a door opening.
Men start walking through the door, and for some reason I can’t bring myself to look at any of them, so I just stare at the table. I can hear chairs scraping on the floor, and the room is suddenly loud with everyone talking all at once.
I hear footsteps walking in my direction that suddenly stop and my stomach lurches uncomfortably. The instinct to get up and run is so fierce, I have to grab on to the sides of my chair.
“Do I not get a hug then?” I shiver at the words and for the hundredth time I wonder just what exactly made me want to come here.
I force myself to look up at the man standing next to me, hardly recognising him. His blonde hair is much longer than I have ever seen, same as his beard, and it’s a mess. He is a mess. His nose is crooked, his eyes are surrounded by so much purple and black, that I don’t know where the bags end and the bruises begin. But that smile, the twisted way his lip curls up at one edge, the fear it sends through me, that hasn’t changed.
“Sit down Blackford, now.” A guard shouts from next to the table, and I can’t help but notice the other two guards that are keeping a very close distance to us.
Kevin pulls the seat from opposite me and sits, staring.
Well come on then. You thought it was such a good idea to come here, you should probably say something.
My mouth is suddenly so dry that I don’t think I could get any words out even if I knew what to say.
“I must say, I’m quite surprised you’re here. I only sent you that visiting order on the off chance Amelia might like to see her Daddy again. But I guess after signing those papers I’m not her Dad anymore, am I?” He seems calm, too calm. I risk a glance up at his eyes, and they are staring, burning into me.
“That’s why I’m here.” I manage in a voice barely over a whisper. “The papers, why did you sign them?”
He half laughs. “Didn’t you want me to?” He smirks at me.
“And when have you ever done something because I wanted it before?” I snap, the stupid look on his face is winding me up now, and anger is starting to replace my nerves.
“Touché.” He puts his arms across the table and leans over towards me. “What can I say? I’m a changed man. That’s what prison is for, to reform evil people like me, isn’t it?”
“People like you don’t change. You’re incapable of it.”
“Rachel, you wound me.” He fakes a hurt look, then goes back to grinning at me. It’s so unnerving, I’ve never really seen him like this before. So serene, and calm, but at the same time, something so dangerous and evil just seems to seep from him.
“Kevin, as much as you like to think it, I’m not stupid, and I know you. I know you don’t do anything unless there is something in it for you. There is no way in hell you are just going to allow me to marry someone else and have your daughter adopted by him without a fight. That’s not you. There’s a reason you’ve signed these, and it’s got fuck all to do with you changing.” I hiss at him, my anger bubbling over now. From the corner of my eye I can see one of the guards edging closer to our table, so I take a deep breath and try to remember where I am.
Something flashes behind Kevin’s eyes, but before I can work out what it is, he is back to staring, smiling.
“You know, I still can’t believe I didn’t work out who he was sooner.” He leans back in his chair and I stare at him, confused. “Even at that fundraiser, when he made that bloody speech. Although, I guess I was a bit preoccupied, watching my wife mentally undressing and fucking him the rest of the night.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I shake my head and wonder just what the hell is going through his brain right now.
“Oh, nothing really.” He leans back in towards me. “Look Rachel, no hard feelings, okay? Marry the guy, or don’t, whatever, I mean maybe that’s why you’re here. Maybe you don’t really want to marry him and expected me to put a stop to it?” I’m so shocked at his words I don’t have time to say anything before he starts talking again. “At the end of the day, it won’t last. And I won’t be in here forever. So when I’m out, we will be free to start over
again.”
My mouth opens wider with every crazed word coming from him and I’m left sitting in stunned silence, mouth hanging like a dead fish.
“I’m afraid they don’t offer conjugal visits here, so I’d probably close that mouth of yours, for now.” He winks at me and I can almost feel my breakfast rising in my stomach.
“What is wrong with you?” I manage to say after what feels like an age of silence.
“Oh Rach, you know it will always be me?”
There is not a single part of me that expected him to be coming out with any of this. He really has completely lost the plot.
“I don’t know how to say this politely, but I can quite safely say, without a shadow of doubt, that if you were the last man on earth, I’d rather kill myself than be anywhere near you.”
There’s that flash again, and it lasts longer this time. His eyes narrow and look furious. But then, as suddenly as they change, his whole face relaxes again.
“Rach, we were meant to be together, and we still are. You will get bored of your millionaire, and you’ll find yourself longing to be back with me, and when you do, you know where I will be.” He leans forward even more and raises his hand as if he wants to touch me. I stand up so fast that the chair falls over behind me with a loud bang. Everyone in the room turns to look at us, and in an instant there are three guards right behind Kevin.
“You’ve lost it, you really have. This will be the last time you will ever see me. I hope you rot in here.” I walk past him towards to visitor’s exit and hear him laughing from behind me.
“Until we meet again, my love.” I hear him shout after me.
Tad
Fucking voicemail. Again. I throw my phone down on my desk and try to ignore the nagging feeling in the bottom of my stomach. Rachel has clearly had something on her mind the last few days, but she point blank refuses to talk to me, and it’s infuriating.